A Perfect Specimen - Part 1

Author: DogSlave
Title: A perfect specimen (part 1)
Date: 16 August 2009

Please note that all the stories contained within are fiction. This story is meant for this site only


Part 1:

I was sitting on my couch in front of my TV totally zoned and thinking about the last six month I have spent on Earth. I thought to myself - I can take it anymore. All the damn pressure the world puts on me. No friends anymore. I have been such an ass to them for so long just because I am so unhappy. I know I take out all my misery on them and I have done some pretty horrible things to them. I have gone out of my way to embarrass them in public because I would get a kick out of their misery. I have purposely got them in fights because I somehow thought it was funny. One night my friend James was getting on my nerves. I continued to buy him drinks until he was beyond wasted. When he went to the restroom, I followed him in. I slammed him into the stall and handcuffed him to the toilet. I placed a piece of duck tape over his mouth. It was perfect – when he started yelling it just sounded like he was extremely constipated. I figured he could no longer get on my nerves if he was chained in the bathroom. I walked out of the stall, closed and locked the door behind me, and went back out to the bar to enjoy myself. After about three hours, I went back to the stall to release James. I came back, unlocked the stall door, and found James past out on the toilet bowl. I un-cuffed him, threw him over my shoulder, and walked out of the bar. The bouncer even thanked me for taking care of my friend. What a night.

I think I played one too many pranks and now I have no friends. It hard to sit here, thinking, all alone. I need to make some new friends. All of the sudden I was about to doze off and my phone rang. I picked up the phone and it was James, Teddy, and Pete having a party in the background.

“What up buddy. Man it has been a long time since we last saw each other. What are you doing tonight?”

Not a whole lot. I was just sitting on my couch watching some TV.

“You should come out with us. We were just pre-partying at my house and then heading to Frankie’s Pub. We are on our way to your house. It is time we get you out of there so get dressed. We will be there in about ten minutes.”

Ok – sounds good. See you soon.

Before I knew it James, Teddy and Pete were all outside my door.

“Ready Jason”

It is so good to see you guys. I haven’t heard from you guys in a long time. I was beginning to think you didn’t like me for all the little pranks I played on you guys just to get a laugh.

“Oh come on buddy, no worries. Of course we are still friends.

We all went out to the bar and ordered our first round of tequila shots. It seemed like barely ten minutes had passed and we had already had five shots.

“Here you go Jason, this is lucky number six. Enjoy.” Damn it is about time. Jason finally passed out from all the shots. Granted the last two has a powerful ruffi mixed in but thought he would have gone down earlier. “Pete, grab Jason other arm. Lets get out bastard friend out of here” We carried Jason out of the bar by his arms and walked two blocks down the street to the local Motel. We placed Jason on the bench in front of the motel as instructed and went on our way never to see out friend again. Pete, Teddy and I had gathered a mere $5,000 dollars to pay a guy to assure that we never see Jason again. It took one phone call and a fax. For some reason they required Jason measurements. We wired the money sent the measurements and awaited our instructions which we followed to the T. We were instructed to take Jason to Frankie’s, slip the ruffis in the drink and place him on the bend in front of the Motel. We watch from a distance as the white van pulled up. Two guys grabbed Jason and threw him in the back of the van. It could have been one of the best sites I have ever seen and definitely worth the money.